I have an improv cooking show. Come on over:

http://www.improvkitchen.blogspot.com

I also use the mask url http://www.rubmychicken.com (don’t worry. Aside from some swearing it’s clean)

There are plenty of people who are content here and who have made it. Sure some of them find it to be bland at worst, but people have a tendency to be vocal about bad crap. Who ever vents, “God I just love it here. Oh the weather is always perfect and….”

Thanks!

Thank you for your thoughtful and informative post. As I said in my observation, I may well change my mind after running into some of the blocks that I do believe are there. Part of me hopes that I will be lucky, but part of me also doesn’t believe that will be the case. I take the particular viewpoint above, however, to offset what I recognize in myself, and to let anyone else, who might be interested in another, differing expression, know that I’m not giving up. That even though I do see this country as a small, roped off, VIP-only room as some of its folks may think, I intend to get beyond the red ropes and add a splash of color. My biggest problem with some of the attitudes is that, like me, I assume many of the folks came here of their own choice. Not all, I know that, but probably more than not. For all that I may find many things confusing, irritating, otherwise disconcerting, I chose this situation. If I can’t make it work, no matter the odds, then I need to find someplace I can. But, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again, that’s just me. My opinion is my opinion, whether I’m sprouting roses or raging against the machine. It’s not gospel, no matter how high an opinion I may have of myself. *laughs softly*

I fully believe in people needing to vent, believe me. That’s what I do here, in one way, shape or form. And I encourage it from anyone who reads my blog, to agree, disagree, offer up a completely different viewpoint, or even tell me I’m full of shit. Of course, those I will delete, but they’re still welcome to spout. I also know that that is one of the reasons forums such as Foreigners in Denmark and the Coconut Club exist. People need a place to vent. In all ways.

You are always welcome to come vent here, any time you see something that raises your ire, tweaks an ear, or makes you laugh.

Anyway I digress. Your post here is a thoughtful one and I agree that people should strive to make lemonade of lemons. BUT - this is a phenomenon I have not seen the likes of anywhere else. OK, untrue. There are plenty of immigrants in the States who feel marginalized in similar ways, only there are plenty of American citizens who feel just as marginalized. The poor ones. At times minorities. I’m not sure what the differences are, but they exist. Maybe it’s the size of Denmark and the sameness. Perhaps it does help to find a vast pool of foreigners to commiserate with or really connect with and that’s difficult to find here. Maybe a bit in Copenhagen, but other places? Hmm. I live in Ribe and, while there is a small community of immigrants here, we are not quite together for some reason.

I have more empathy now for the immigrants back home (U.S.) then ever before. I don’t have an answer to why people feel so shitty here and left out, but there are valid reasons. Some people have the ability to “rise above” and succeed. Others might be more prone to defeat. Depression. Lots of reasons why many people have not been up to the noble challenge of being happy here. Perhaps for many people, the achievement of happiness was never considered such a challenge. Maybe takes a bit of adjustment. There must be something, though that is very real about the fact that so many people are down in the dumps about living here.

I was very positive several years ago when I arrived. When I got my residency I thought everything would require work, but I’d pull through. Well. After 9 straight months of being rejected by every single job center, employment agency and company I started to lose a little steam. The problem was not my lack of credentials. The problem was people’s unwillingness to even review my credentials. I mean showing up at an office and immediately being told no. No by employment agencies who need a work force.

I have since worked several non-glamorous jobs including factory work, newspaper delivery and peddling chinese toys. I’m currently studying again and in my last semester. Unfortunately I wasn’t one of those people who initially entered Denmark for work. It was based on marriage. I have been trying to blend in since. From the doctor’s office, to prospective employers to daily community I have been trying to break into this tribe. I have always been a social person and feel myself becoming withdrawn more and more each day.

People I have contact with on a daily basis act as if we’d never met before. My Danish started splendidly and has diminished gradually. I think it’s a psychological resistance.

Copenhagen was easier. I made friends with people at sprogskole and eventually became part of a studio in vesterbro (I paint), which really made me feel included. But we left Copenhagen at the end of 2005.

I wish you luck with your outlook, and understand how you might disagree with people’s attitudes. I wish my attitude were better. I wish I could smile every time someone threw shit in my face. It’s hard. Believe me…for some of us it is hard. We can’t help it. We have good days, but on the bad days we need to vent. As my friends in the government offices, telecommunication companies, job centers etc. say - “That’s just the way it is”.

As I’m a prude-ish Californian too — one who often eschewed indulgences such as booze and sweets — its been interesting to see how easily I’ve crossed over to the dark side. I love “hyggeligt” danish gatherings (most of the time!).

Keep up your writing. Best of luck to you as you travel this journey! Knus.

Camryn